Now, you may be asking's-name does RUSH LIMBAUGH end up in a sci-fi fantasy novel, especially where Amercia's pastime serves as the backdrop?


Well, it all starts innocently enough as an orange ball streaks through the night sky over the back wall of Riders Field, sending BILLY YOUNGFRIED and Sacramento Riders fans headlong into a summer of bewildering baseball fantasy in the year 2007. Star visitor LUTHER WOUNDUP has hurled the ball over the wall to attract the team’s attention, but nine-year-old Billy shows the most interest in the glowing orange object in the start of this baseball novel. 


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From the moment he sails from Spalding, where baseball is revered like religion, Luther’s only desire is to achieve his lifelong dream of playing professional baseball. But his spiky blue hair, short stature and superior attitude dissuade the Rider’s manager DALTONSWEENEY from even considering a tryout. Instead, marketing director SUSAN MINKIN successfully pitches the owner on Luther becoming The Intruder!, the team’s new mascot, where he can display his pitching skills in between-inning contests against the fans. More importantly, the new job enables Luther to carry out his covert mission: deploy a device that records human brain waves that can be later transmuted into cortesium.


It might best be described as The Natural layered over Slaughterhouse Five.  


The device—an Aquatrilene—was invented by his father, Spalding’s preeminent scientist. ZELTAC has duped his son into believing cortesium offers a benign potion for his planet’s dying race. In fact, it forms a blueprint for mass mind control of the earthsons. To ensure the mission’s success, Zeltac dispatches a support team to follow Luther, and should he fail, return to Spalding with the Aquatrilene’s contents.


In the novel’s sub plot, LIMBAUGH temporarily relocates his EIB Studio to his adopted hometown of Sacramento to report on the federal kidnapping case of a U.S. Supreme Court Justice by the leader of a group called The Limbaughsters. Soon enough, Limbaugh is confronted by a "star visitor" that is not Luther, one who has nefarious plans for El Rushbo. In time, Limbaugh overcomes the fact that he meets an ET (actually a pair of them), and his association with the court case reveals new purpose for his career while dovetailing with Woundup’s stunning conclusion at home plate.

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The Pitch: The Adventures of Luther Woundup and His Magical Orange Ball


In his first mascot performance, Luther overreacts to a last-minute rule change and the taunts of Riders’ pitching coach RUBE HEWELL. He fires the ball in anger. It misses the coach but strikes Billy sitting in the second row. Minkin watches her promotion careen out of control as the boy is rushed to the hospital, unconscious. His mission nearly over before it begins, Luther sneaks into the hospital and heals the boy with the ’trilene, awakening paranormal abilities in Billy. Luther is forgiven and reinstated as team mascot. Over time, he learns about friendship and loyalty from BODACIOUS, an African-American river rat who speaks with a pronounced lisp and dispenses philosophical nuggets such as “Don’t look back; ain’t nothin’ but hithtry back there.” Eventually, Bo joins Luther on his schooner, and his raunchy manner and earthy humor provide a perfect foil for Luther’s lofty speech and proper manners.


While attempting to break through a bout of writer’s block, local sports columnist RANDY BRIDGER discovers Luther’s secret through a hypnotherapy session. He begins assembling the theory that the ‘trilene is harmful to humans. With only circumstantial evidence, Randy secures Luther’s promise to release the ‘trilene’s contents in public; in exchange Bridger agrees to embargo the news column that will reveal Luther’s secret. This confrontation leads Luther to question the true purpose of his father’s mission, forcing him to face one of the prime mythic conflicts: foil his father’s evil plan or share in the complicity of conquering a weaker people.


His moment of decision comes during his professional pitching debut at Riders Field, where the “little fruitcake” delivers a gutty performance. The contest proves pivotal on another level as the Spalding support team attempts to ambush Luther, steal his ‘trilene and capitalize on his popularity. Instead, their plan backfires in a dazzling display at home plate.


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The Pitch: The Adventures of Luther Woundup and His Magical Orange Ball


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